K: If I pray hard enough and ask God really nicely, He’ll give me a unicorn.
Me: (panicking–must answer well before lack of unicorn crushes this small child’s faith) Well, the thing about God is that He will only give us what’s really in our best interest. So if a unicorn is not the best thing for you, He’s probably not going to give it to you, even if you ask really nicely.
K: But I want a unicorn.
Me: Right, but just because you want something doesn’t mean it’s the best thing for you. And a unicorn isn’t actually real, so while God could make a unicorn, if He did, then little girls all over would pray for their own unicorns, and then there would be this huge population of unicorns that very likely might take over the world, and then they’d make us walk around with horns on our foreheads to fit in. Which wouldn’t be a good thing at all.
K: (giggling) Not at all!
Me: (huge sigh of relief) Right.
K: Okay, Mama. I’ll just ask for a pony instead.