Early morning angst

At this moment — 4 am — awful.
M still coughing, nearly two hours.
I’m still agonizing over my part:
shouldn’t have let him run so
shouldn’t have let them play late
shouldn’t have waited to give medicine
shouldn’t have woken to give it
shouldn’t, didn’t, can’t change it now
and the questions that lie ahead
school, friends, park–what to do?
keep me up when coughing rests.
Where’s the parenting magic eight ball
when you really need an answer?

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