Remote control, please

Do you ever have those moments where you hear yourself being awful, just absolutely awful, and yet you just keep on going? I’ve had a lot of those in the past two days. Not only do I hear the words coming out of my mouth, pouring like sharp gravel, but I feel my body tensing up, as though I too am turning hard.

It’s exhaustion. It’s packing. It’s the summer heat and the withering plants and the to-do list that never ends up to-done. But somewhere between my logical analysis and my nasty outpourings there’s a gap. Something missing. Like a pause button. Or a mute button. Or even a rewind, so that I could, in that instant after I say or do whatever I immediately regret, just go back.

In that case, I’d rewind all the way back to the weekend, hit pause, take a nice long nap and make the most comprehensive to-do list ever, get them all done in fast forward, and then hit play. And really play. All week long. Yes, well, maybe that’s what makes a vacation so appealing, if you just managed to survive getting there.

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2 thoughts on “Remote control, please

  1. Yes, I have had those moments that have added up to the majority of a day. Usually a result of poor planning and too high of expectations for what I “need” to get done that day. Remember, each day is a new day and everything is a lesson that can be passed on to the kids. I don’t want to pass on my perfectionistic, high expectation tendencies to I. so I try to use my not-so-perfect moments as an example of what didn’t work so well and why. I want her to learn how to balance what “needs” to be done with just having fun – a lesson that I am learning myself.

  2. Such a good point. I often think I can do everything, and then flip out when it doesn’t get done. If I just underestimated, we’d be a lot more satisfied around here.

    And speaking of that, you have no idea how long my to-do list is today. Maybe I’ll start tomorrow…

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