Dear Garden, again

I feel compelled to remind you, dear Garden, that it is not even June yet. I should not be pulling out two bags of green beans. I should not be picking tomatoes. I should not already be overwhelmed by your overzealous production of produce. This meltdown should wait another month, at least.

While we’re at it, what exactly are you producing over in the corner? You know the corner–the one with the squash of various size and shapes which were not planted by us and do not resemble any squash that we planted in the past. And what kinds of tomatoes are those? And the melon–cantaloupe, maybe?

Did you not notice that we purposefully planted broccoli, tomatoes, corn, carrots, and beans? There was plenty of work to be done. You did not need to take it upon yourself to make more plants. Really. While we appreciate your bounty, we are frightened. Could we focus on the task at hand? SLOWLY?

Or maybe you could talk the bean tendrils into constructing hands and picking produce themselves. You do always seem to be up for a challenge.

The lady with the trowel


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