The Great Pumpkin (Patch)

If you were, perhaps, planning to take your kids to a pumpkin patch, and one of them was all dressed up in a fluffy fleecy costume, be advised that said fleece with attract any and all hay in the general vicinity. Pumpkin patches abound with hay.

Copious amounts of hay on a black and white costume will result in people complementing you on the very cute cow, which will only generate ire and dismay since you went to a lot of effort to coordinate your kids as a firefighter with his dalmation.

All the people commenting on your cow/dalmation will cause your cow/dalmation to become very bashful, which means you will be carrying the animal for the rest of the visit.

Hay is very itchy when it’s attached to a cow/dalmation butt that now rests on your bare and sweaty arm. Such discomfort will make a once fun pumpkin patch excursion a little less worth the two very small pumpkins you have to show for it, especially since these pumpkins took all of five seconds to select and were quickly forgotten in 1.5 days.

You will, of course, immediately wash the outfit upon your return home, only to find that the hay has actually settled in quite nicely, at which time you will spend the next two weeks intermittently picking hay from the tiny fleece nubbins in a desperate attempt to make the costume wearable again by Halloween.

Just, you know, in case you were wondering.

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